Feminist? Yes, as a matter of fact, I am.

Not everyone has the distinct privilege of having some people in their life that see them as a truckling slave of the patriarchy and some other people in their life that see them as a condescending amazon harpy. I'm tickled to be able to straddle both sides of that fence. In honor of International Women's Day, I have some delcarations to make.

I will not be ashamed of the fact that I:

• like to cook, bake, sew, clean, and take care of other people.
  
• don’t know much about cars, beer, weapons, or sports, and I couldn’t care less.
  
• think my family is more important than my career.
  
• cannot do nearly as much when pregnant as I could before I was pregnant, and am not afraid to say so.
  
• cry easily, and don’t try to hide it.
  
• will let my daughter play with dolls if she wants to.
  
• have chosen to be a school teacher rather than a research scientist based on what I enjoy doing rather than on other people’s expectations of what good girls or smart girls can, cannot, should, or should not do.
  
• believe that biology has a hand in determining general differences in how women and men think and act and what they value and aspire to.
  
• get irritated with small minds who consider me a subservient, misled, ignorant, old-fashioned victim with no right to call herself a feminist, all because of the above.
  
• expect to be seen as an individual and not as a constantly on-trial representative of my gender.
  

Nor will I be ashamed of the fact that I:

• have little to no interest in make-up, fashion or shoes.
  
• am a mammal and have hair pretty much everywhere.
  
• expect to be treated with respect at work and with acknowledgement of my intelligence and hard-won knowledge, with the same wage as if I were a man, and have raised a royal fucking ruckus when I am not.
  
• expect my husband to do more while I’m pregnant because I’m able to do less.
  
• think love and respect must always be earned and are never unconditionally deserved, even by your own children or parents.
  
• will let my son play with dolls if he wants to.
  
• have chosen to temporarily work as an engineer because it pays better and is more flexible than being a teacher, and that’s what I need in my life right now.
  
• believe that no level of knowledge of the biological differences between men and women and their general consequences for how we think and act should ever drive us to adopt overly generalized, simplified educational, political or social structures or stop our efforts to treat men and women equally and give them the same opportunities.
  
• get irritated with small minds who consider me a man-hating, baby-hating, career-obsessed bitter traitor and lump me in with all other self-professed feminists that I actually strongly disagree with, all because of the above.
  
• expect to be seen as a nuanced and shifting shade of gray instead of a constantly on-trial representative of one political, ideological, or philosophical black or white.
  

Even though most people's definition of the word differs from mine, I still like to call myself a feminist, and I think it sucks that other sensible people have to feel that the label can't apply to them.