100% Genuine Fake American

Clearly I wasn't the only one who had started to wonder about her Real American (tm) status. After watching the October 20 episode of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (which I did this morning, as they are played one week late and in the middle of the night here), I could firmly and decisively say that I'm definitely a Fake American.

Go ahead and test yourself, so you can know once and for all: The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, full episode from October 20, 2008.

But seriously folks. The "If you're not with us, you're against us" brand of dividing us into two camps and making us feel dirty for not belonging to one of them, that might have worked nauseatingly well for Mr. Uniter-not-divider, but in pushing her half-assed brand of kiddie clubhouse wars, Palin seems to have missed one thing in her calculation: for some odd reason, big cities tend to contain more people than small towns. If you go around implying that 75% of the country are fake Americans, it's going to bite you in the ass. Especially ill-advised is doing so after photo-opping your way around Ground Zero. After McCain-Palin's resounding loss, I hope she finds herself a small island somewhere and secedes from the union (I'd rather prefer that we keep Alaska; how otherwise would we keep an eye on Russia?), where I'm sure she can be empress of her very own Real America.